Monday, November 7, 2016

Year 1

A satirical interpretation of the 2016 election madness:

The year is 1.  We've been deceived by our president and overpowered by the Russian President, Vladimir Putin.  He swooped in like a horseman of the apocalypse, bringing in war and disparity.  America, once a nation full of promise, has been knocked to its knees.  The spirit of liberty and happiness is extinct.  Welcome to the revelation of mankind, the divine disclosure of existence coming to an end. 

It all began in the Gregorian calendar year of 2017.  New president, Bernie Sanders, was elected as commander and chief of the United States.  His campaign ran on a foundation of promise provided for and by the people.  The election campaigns were a tight race.  Hillary Clinton was the forerunner, followed closely by socialist Sanders, and business tycoon Donald Trump. 

Everyone thought that Hillary would become the first female president.  However, just before the elections, she was arrested by the FBI for conspiracy to supplant key positions in the parliament.  They dragged her to prison kicking and screaming.  It wasn't a pretty sight.

With Hillary out of the picture, the burden fell on Bernie Sanders' shoulders to clench a quick victory before the madman Donald Trump took power.  Everyone feared for the reputation of the United States if Trump became president.  Without hesitation, the majority of Americans voted for Sanders and laughed as Trump tried to talk his way out of defeat.

During the first year of President Sanders' reign, everything seemed to be going very well.  He implemented a universal health care system that provided free medical relief for any legal citizen of the United States.  He raised minimum wages so that everyone was making an equitable income, and even managed to tax the super wealthy and distribute the funds throughout the nation's educational systems.  Those who remembered, equated the state of prosperity and happiness to that of the 1950s.  People rejoiced as Sanders seemingly met all American's needs.

Beginning his second year as president, Sanders promoted a peace treaty with many different countries around the world.  He promised a world full of wealth and abundance, much like what was happening in the U.S.  One country he was particularly fond of bonding with was Russia and its president, Vladimir Putin.  Sanders promised that this relationship would pave a new path for humanity.  Little did we know the extent of his promise.

The U.S. and Russian military joined together and began taking away the rights of citizens.  The economy collapsed and was rebuilt into a digital chip system.  If anyone wanted to buy or sell, they had to be implanted with a microchip.  The chip also provided access to universal health care, personal information, internet access and much more.  Although this devilish device was optional at first, eventually it became nearly impossible to survive without it. 

Small contingents of U.S. rebels fought against the quickly growing oppressive regime.  They were soon defeated, dispersed, or disbanded by overwhelming military and financial power.  Those who remained fled into the mountains. 

Near the end of the summer, black helicopters blotted out the sky.  The choppers fired down rubber ammunition on all the vehicles and pedestrians in the streets, subduing all citizens much too easily.  Black clad military personnel swarmed the area and ushered unmarked citizens into giant holding facilities reminiscent of football stadiums. We later realized the facilities were abandoned Walmarts.

I was one of the many who were still unmarked by the new currency exchange system, commonly called the chip.  In the stadiums, men were separated from women and children, and forced to run laps until they couldn't run any longer.  Drained and terrified, many men reluctantly agreed to receive the chip. 

There was a man wearing big, round spectacles on a stage that had a gun resembling a sort of syringe.  He put it to the men's forearm and, with the decompressing sound of a nail gun, shot the chip deep into the arm's muscle tissue.  The sound was sickening and the men screamed in pain.

I refused to be marked by such beasts.  Those of us who refused to receive the chip were tied, gagged, and hooded.  As several of the military men escorted us out of the room, I heard a military general reeducating the crowd.  "The year is 1," he commanded.  "You are now part of a global alliance of national powers invested in the betterment of humanity.  Those who refuse to participate will be imprisoned.  Those who join will be set free." 

As his voice faded into the past, I wondered how I could escape this terrible nightmare of a dream.  This was something straight out of the scriptures, something no one had ever anticipated.  Revelations may be real, but the rapture is incomplete.  Thrown into a holding cell, I found a rock and began scratching against the wall, marking this message for humanity.

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