Friday, January 20, 2017

A Lone, Lost Lad

It was, from the start, a terror stricken heart that caught my throat in a chokehold.  I'd been bold, wandering so far from mom and her friends, and, now, it seemed my end was near.

Fear burned my mind as I tried to find the path from which I came.  Alas, they all looked the same, and no matter how loudly I called her name, she did not hear my cries for help. 

Long legs and sagging purses made me feel like I was drowning in a sea of strangers.  The stampeding masses sounding like nightmarish morasses reminded me of monsters and other things that could go wrong in life.

I remember just sitting on the ground, hoping to be found by someone who could help.  Instead, I was accidentally kicked by those too busy to look around, continuing to shuffle like sheep that baa this way and that, seeking the promising pleasure of consumer goods.

Finally, a man in blue wondered who I was and why I was alone.  His tone was tough, so before he could rough me up like Uncle Jim, I bluffed and said I'd hurt my shin and that mommy was just ahead. 

I jumped to meet her, but accidentally turned toward a dead end.  Now trapped, the man snapped a walkie-talkie off his belt.  I felt the cold pain of my own misdoings bubble up in my belly.  My legs turned to jelly as I felt the welts from so many times before pour back into my mind.  Fearing his firm fists, I pissed my pants and started to cry.

In a final, desperate lie, I told myself that everything was going to be ok. 

Later on, the all-call echoed throughout the mall, beckoning my mother to come retrieve her lost boy.  Like a tossed toy, I sat in a corner wallowing in self-guilt, which had built upon itself throughout the drawn-out day.  There was nothing left to say.

She arrived, dismayed; insisting that I should have stayed by her side.  Half of me wanted to hide away, while the other half grabbed her hand and wouldn't let go.  Like an undertow, I'd been swept far away and was barely saved.

Despite having braved the wild concrete jungle of society, I still felt lost--no longer a child.  Perhaps it was then when I crossed the threshold into a more mature mold of myself.  Forever, my play would hold a hint of awareness for my surroundings. 

The pounding of my heart dissipated as I related what had happened to her and her worried soul.  Her lost foal, finally herded home.  Carrying me to the car, I rested my head on her chest, ending the day better than I would have guessed.


Copyright 2015. JourneyHolm.  All Rights Reserved.

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