Tuesday, May 23, 2017
Cave Troll Caught on Film
They said he lurked behind a cold curtain of crashing water in a cavernous canyon deep in the heart of Jackson Falls, Shawnee National Forest. So, I climbed down into the beast's lair, careful not to slip on the perilous stones outside his home.
As I descended into the cold climate, I saw a sign that said "Beware!" Like a fool, I decided it wasn't for me. As day began to dawn, I crossed his lawn and decided to see if he could be coaxed into view. I knew he was dangerous, but it would be just be us, and I was harmless.
Suddenly, he swooped down like a great ape. I gaped at the sight and shivered with fright. He was dressed in red. Blood, I assumed, from the dead photographers who dared cross this boss of a beast.
I sensed he would feast on my soul if I didn't flee, but something within me told me to snap a picture quickly (for niume, of course). Which I did. Consider yourself fortunate, for you do not have to look upon his gruesome face. His hair was a mangled nest for pests to thrive in. His features, hunched like Quasimodo of Notre Dame.
I fled as fast as I could. He didn't chase me. Good, I though, better to get as far as possible from this sulking servant of the night. Out of sight, I looked at the picture, pleasantly surprised at its ability to outline the ugly troll. I thought that soon I would be rich, and proceeded to upload the photo onto my blog.